No, but seriously.
It's not something I'm proud of, but in 2008, I inadvertently ended one relationship, hooked up with one guy with a serious girlfriend (that I was unaware of) and engaged in countless flirtations with attached menfolk.
I'm all for female empowerment, but few things feel worse than being the eternal mistress. It essentially boils down to a "Hey! You're awesome, but not awesome enough to date" slap in the face. Plus, I'm sure I'm not sending the best romantic karma into the world.
What really grates on me is that these guys push the issue even if I offer resistance in the form of "Hey, remember your girlfriend?" it seems to have no impact. They just don't seem to care. Now I'm not one to group all guys together, but when did it fall to me to be a pillar of morality?
I can't be trusted alone in a room with a freshly iced cake, let alone with an attractive man.
It's only January 5th and already I've had this resolution tested three times.
1. The Flying Dutchman. This one's an on-going issue. Back in February, I was at a conference and met this incredibly attractive, charming Dutch guy. We had an amazing night together and (of course), I had to leave the next day. The entire 10 hour drive home was spent exchanging really cute text messages at extremely high international rates; I was utterly charmed. When I brought up us being Facebook friends, he admitted he had a confession: He had a girlfriend, but it was long distance, as he went to school in the Netherlands and she was in UCLA so they weren't that serious.
Well, ten months, countless inappropriate behavior via webcam and many attempts at sweet talking later, they're still together. This summer, he was in Los Angeles, working for the Dutch government. He offered to fly to DC, wine me, dine me, take me to an event at the Dutch embassy, the whole shebang, if only it ended with...well...she banging, pardon my pun.
Now he's looking to go to grad school in DC and has excitedly told me of his big plans for his arrival here in the fall. Apparently there was some sort of language issue, because I don't think he caught my sarcasm about how much his girlfriend will surely love him being in the US. I've already decided I'm not going to answer his calls when he gets here.
I frequently debate sending his girlfriend a tell all facebook message, but her family flew to the Netherlands to spend Christmas with his family. That's a lot of foundation to shake.
2. The Irishman. Maybe my problem here is international types. I knew this guy when we went to middle school together. Inevitably he left, returning to his native Ireland. Reunited by the glories of the internet, we've started talking lately. A lot. Our conversations vary between the dynamics of the European Union and our mutual attraction.
He's going to school in New York and we've talked a lot about me coming to visit. The other day we go into an argument; apparently I'm being a tease because I wasn't planning on visiting for a few months (after he's single; I have little faith in the strength of most college relationships). He wanted me to visit at the end of January, so long as I wouldn't mind not going to parties (he wouldn't want his girlfriend to find out).
His rationale is he would love to date me...if only I was in the same state. But because I'm not, there's no reason we can't "enjoy" one another while going on with our normal, at home lives. I've always hated this saying, but the situation really can be summed up with "You can't have your cake and eat it too."
3. The Southern Gentleman. This one's actually occurring as I type this. This one is another on-going, long distance flirtation. We used to talk nightly and joke about dating when he moved to DC for a government job. We'd be like something out of the West Wing.
He got a girlfriend in mid-November and clearly the content of our conversations changed. That is, until tonight, when he tried to initiate some AIM dirty talking (oh baby, nothing is quite as sexy).
The guy's supposed to crash in my apartment for the inauguration, but I'm tempted to text him tomorrow canceling his reservation.
I know this is a bit long, but I'm just so frustrated. I don't think I'm stuffy or a prude but it seems like my thoughts on fidelity are like something out of Camelot when compared with popular opinion.
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